Three Amazing Things You Can Do For Your Loved Ones
- Remember The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
- Make The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
- Learn The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Read or listen to these three books, and the way you interact with those you love will change forever.
1. “The Power of Now” By Eckhart Tolle
“Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.” – Eckhart Tolle
Staying in the moment with those we love is difficult in our plugged-in society. Constant distractions from texts, social media notifications, video games, or a new series that just dropped on Netflix are all relationship killers.
The Power of Now reminds us that happiness lies in the present moment. Our minds, however, tend to anxiously contemplate the future or ruminate in the past, neither of which we can change. If our thoughts are not in the past or future, we find ourselves numbly scrolling through social media posts, gaming for hours upon end, or watching the entire series of a show in a few days. We can’t build intimacy and strengthen relationships by checking out on one another.
Don’t lose another minute.
The Power of Now teaches us strategies to reside in the present moment and not in our heads.
Suggested Read: Finding Gratitude In Life’s Ordinary Moments
2. “The Four Agreements” By Don Miguel Ruiz
“If I love myself I will express that love in my interactions with you, and then I am being impeccable with the word, because that action will produce a like reaction. If I love you, then you will love me. If I insult you, you will insult me. If I have gratitude for you, you will have gratitude for me. If I’m selfish with you, you will be selfish with me.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
In “The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom”, Don Miguel Ruiz draws upon the wisdom of the ancient Toltecs, an indigenous people of Mexico, to establish a personal code of conduct.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak kindly toward yourself and others. We are quick to put down others and even quicker to put down ourselves. In the heat of a conflict, it’s easy to lash out at loved ones with unkind words that we don’t mean. Unfortunately, those words stick like the strongest epoxy in the minds of those we love.
Suggested Read: The Importance Of World Kindness Day
Don’t Take Things Personally
As a teacher, I would not be effective if I took everything personally. What people say and do has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. We all have different perceptions of the world, and our minds work in different ways. Instead of taking a word or deed personally, strive to better understand the other person’s world.
Don’t Make Assumptions
Humans naturally have judgy minds. Putting judgment on others helps us define our world; however, most of these judgments are wrong and lead to unnecessary fights and misunderstandings. Instead of making assumptions, ask questions and clarify a person’s intent.
Always Do Your Best
We will never be perfect as humans; therefore, don’t expect perfection from yourself or anyone else. As long as we do our best, we free ourselves from judgment and regret. Our best may change on any given day. When we’re tired or sick, our best may look a little differently. When we keep this agreement in mind, it helps us remember that others are usually doing their best on any given day, so it is important to have forgiveness in our hearts.
3. “The Five Love Languages” By Gary Chapman
“Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.” – Gary Chapman
According to Gary Chapman, there are five ways people communicate love, and when we are feeling unloved, it is often based in miscommunication. Everyone gives and receives love in different ways. Until we uncover our preference for receiving love and our loved one’s preference for receiving love, we may never feel satisfied in our relationships. It is important to speak the love language of those who matter most.
Below Are the Five Languages of Love:
- Words of affirmation: Expressing affection through words.
- Quality time: Giving a loved one your undivided attention.
- Receiving gifts: Associating gifts as an expression of love and affection.
- Acts of service: Expressing love through actions rather than words.
- Physical touch: Communicating affection through physical contact.
Strengthening Our Relationships
Once we discover how our loved ones prefer to receive love and act on those preferences, our relationships have the power to become stronger and more enduring.
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